* This blog is dedicated to the bich (oh yes, I KNOW I spelled it wrong!), moderators at TWOP. Without Strenga et AL, I'd be happily posting-away along with the best of them. Unfortunately, TWOP is a little too heavy-handed, high-falootin' and downright unfriendly.
*(added 2011)-Amended to mean Strega's Real Housewives forum(s) and of course those Bravo Blogs that eat your comments w/o posting them. I still visit TWOP for the best snark.


*(Added April 30th, it has come to my attention that some of the rumors posted on this blog are definitely FALSE. Most rumors are clearly labeled as such, but in case I missed any, please keep that in mind)

Thursday, April 15, 2010

So we met the new Housewife

SONYA. Well, like I tried to say on the BRAVO Bubble, her lips remind me of HEIDI on CELEBRITY REHAB.
And THE COUNTESS'S lips are starting to get a little like BIG MOUTH BILLY BASS too.
Alex said "BROOKLYN" in her first sentence of the episode! (I get to drink, see my drinking-game below)

"The Countess wouldn't be caught dead at anything Alex & Simon would do."-JILL (!)

"JILL was jealous that she was not partaking in the fashion show." -RAMONA (so true)

"Make like you're gonna ravage your husband."-Fashion show Director to RAMONA. (bad advice & everyone feels sorry for MARIO now. I want to pour bleach on the scene that my mind's eye is seeing.)

Is JILL going to make-up with BETHENNY for RUSH-A-HOME-A? (sorry that's how non-JEWS pronounce the annual JEWISH holiday/traffic-jam when good Jews try to beat the Sunset)

"This woman is ruining my life."-BETHENNY, speaking about the voice-mail bich.

Hmmmmm does ANYONE really believe that that BETHENNY'S POAS (pee-on-a-stick), scene was NOT a re-enactment? Even the DOG didn't look surprised.

JILL throws RAMONA out of her KODAK event! (but she wouldn't leave)

"I discovered MAX the day he hit NEW YORK." -SONYA (ok. I'm starting to LIKE? SONYA)

"She's MAY WEST." THE COUNTESS referring to SONYA

"YOU have no brain.", "You're an idiot.", "No brain!" "I know you are but what am I?" -Kelly, -RAMONA (trying to smear each other as the "brainless" "one".)

O-MY-FREEKIN'-GOD. I JUST SAW JILL'S PA-LAS-TIC MOTHER. Her FACE looks PAINFULL in a FROZEN way.