* This blog is dedicated to the bich (oh yes, I KNOW I spelled it wrong!), moderators at TWOP. Without Strenga et AL, I'd be happily posting-away along with the best of them. Unfortunately, TWOP is a little too heavy-handed, high-falootin' and downright unfriendly.
*(added 2011)-Amended to mean Strega's Real Housewives forum(s) and of course those Bravo Blogs that eat your comments w/o posting them. I still visit TWOP for the best snark.

*(Added April 30th, it has come to my attention that some of the rumors posted on this blog are definitely FALSE. Most rumors are clearly labeled as such, but in case I missed any, please keep that in mind)

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Let's ALL Divorce the Kardashians-please? Beaking-up with the Kardashians (again)

Today was a monumental and extraordinary day. Not because it happens to be Halloween. And not because Kim Kardashian announced that she has filed for divorce right-after after her stupid, fake "Fairytale"-(was that supposed to be a hint?) Wedding". No, today October 31st, 2011, is the day that we welcome our 7 Billionth Person! to the world. (link to story here). Out-of 7 Billion people, it sure seems like The Kardashians take-up a lot of space in the headlines, doesn't it?
What was it that made today seem like a good-day to file for that divorce? Personal reasons? Maybe not. I don't really know, but today was a significant deadline for the NBA-lockout, according-to ESPN (link here). Any hope that Kris Humphries had of earning money in basketball this year just got a lot dimmer. If the NBA-lockout had not occurred, it would not have seemed so strange that the newlyweds are separated by continents. But people were starting to wonder why Mr. Humphries and his bride were not spending their honeymoon together.
When the news broke today that Kim Kardashian had filed for divorce from her bridegroom, I was not surprized to hear it, but I am puzzled by my reaction. I feel like I got played. And just kind-of disgusted with all of them.
Personally, I "divorced" myself from the entire Kardashian circus, and their reality-show, last-season, when two episodes in particular rubbed me the wrong-way. I stopped "keeping-up" with the Kardashians, because I discovered that one episode in particular was a complete lie. And another one was so absurd, (the one where brother Robert "accidentally" overdosed on Viagra© and, (supposedly, but not likely), needed medical-attention for priapisim. (don't ask me how I even know that jargon, I really don't know).
But the one that caused me to break-up with the whole crew, was an episode that I believed to be true. OK-maybe I didn't want to believe that Kim would be so stupid as-to try to feed a dog cookies, but I believed it enough to go online to try to find-out if Princess the chihuahua had survived and recovered from surgery.
I wasn't the only one online asking. As it turned-out, Princess was fine, (allegedly). But I also discovered that the whole story had been a lie.

On the show, Kim just happened to find a dog and bring it home with her. The plot went-on from there-ending-with some dramatic veterinary surgery. The only problem with the story is that it turned-out that yes, the dog did have surgery, but the surgery had been scheduled by it's real owner, an "E"-Network employee-and the dog was never lost at all.
At least that was the explanation that was given to everyone who asked, "What happened to Princess?", after the episode aired.
I really don't know what the truth is in this matter. For all that I know, maybe Kim got tired of the dog, or the dog died, or?????? For all that I know, maybe the Kardashians would rather admit to being liars and fakers than admit to getting rid-of a pet?
Either-way, just , I knew that I was done with them.
Vapid. That word seems to be this month's, "no filter", another over-used media meme that I keep bumping-into. Although I'm now annoyed every time that I see this word being used, it was the first adjective that I thought-of when I attempted to describe the Kardashians. Would it be too much to ask that the media back-off from featuring anyone who could be described as "vapid" for a while?
The "E" Network seems to specialize in bringing the vapid. Although I feel like the Kardashians fit that role, it was also "E" who shamelessly propped-up the beautiful Anna Nichole Smith, who should have her picture next to the word in the dictionary.. And that creepy family who were gorgeous, but they turned-out to be burglars. (and they weren't even really a family, but little details like that don't seem to matter to "E"). At least no one had to die this time, and the only ones who were robbed, were us, the American Public. And all they stole from us was a little-bit of our attention. So the couple will be forgiven and wished-well. But I am taking the extreme step of using the parental controls on my remote, and blocking the "E" Network from my television. At least for a little while.
Yes, they are beautiful eye-candy. Almost too perfectly beautiful to be real. I found myself studying  the "Fairytale Wedding" photos, not to try and identify the designer trademarks, but to search-for the tell-tale fringe of a lace-front wig on Kim's hairline. (I couldn't find it, she was flawless as usual). So-before this made-for-television divorce news broke, I guess that I was starting to get sucked-back-in to the fake drama. Sure a lot of us have seen the, "before they were famous" photos, and it appears that this family has always been "cover-shot"perfect. But what's to stop them from re-writing visual history with a little Photo-Shop©?
Being attractive isn't a "bad"-thing, but like the rest of it, I'm sorry to say that it is a fake thing for most reality celebs. Besides the obvious Botox©, and an especially photogenic blue-black hair-color that they must be buying in industrial-size drums, I decided that it wasn't really the Kardashians at all that made their looks so mesmerizing. I wasn't surprized to find-out that Kim Kardashian shared her brand of artificial-eyelashes, and make-up artist with Kim Zolciak and some other famous-faces. I do find it amusing that the man-behind-the-illusions, artist Steven Moleski, calls his line of lashes, Smoke and Mirrors (link) .
Speaking-of Bravolebrities, The Real Housewives of New Jersey viewers, have been hearing accusations against Teresa Giudice from her not-as-"fabulous" co-stars, of "not-sharing" the headlines, the limelight, and being a "selfish" attention-hog.
I can only imagine how Jessica Simpson must feel today when she finally decided to make her announcement, and it was almost overlooked. The poor girl has been hiding the news of her pregnancy so long, that her baby looks big-enough to get-up and sell newspapers, as my Grandmom would say. The rumor is that she couldn't find a buyer in the media to pay her asking-price for her baby-news, yet we all know that the Kardashians cashed-in for obscene sums for the "Fairytale Wedding".
Remember when the media made a pact to give us all a break from Paris Hilton, and they promised not to run any stories about her for a week or so? At that time there really wasn't much more we cared to know about Ms. Hilton. She had even taken to flashing the paparazzi in a desperate bid for publicity. Lindsay Lohan, and anyone related to her is another TMZ-favorite who isn't really all that interesting, but they continue to be forced on us whether we want it or not. And I can't quite figure what was behind the idea to put Melissa Gorga into a shocking-pink Sumo-wrestler's fat-suit, but I think it was the only opportunity that she had to be photographed? That display was pathetic and embarrassing, but not for overweight people. She may as well have had a sign on her gigantic fake rear-end, that said, "My husband collects $62 grand in Section 8 rent from the government every month, and this is what it bought".
When Kim Kardashian's statement was made this morning, she made a brief request for "privacy", but then thought-better, and invited everyone who ever heard of her to express public condolences. "E" released their own statement saying that they are, "sad" about the news. The only thing that is sad about all of it is that being famous for being famous seems to be the most profitable career right now.(besides politics and stealing from the government of course).
With six billion nine hundred ninety-nine million nine hundred ninety-nine thousand nine hundred ninety-nine OTHER people to focus-on, is it too much to ask that I never have to hear about Kim K.again?