* This blog is dedicated to the bich (oh yes, I KNOW I spelled it wrong!), moderators at TWOP. Without Strenga et AL, I'd be happily posting-away along with the best of them. Unfortunately, TWOP is a little too heavy-handed, high-falootin' and downright unfriendly.
*(added 2011)-Amended to mean Strega's Real Housewives forum(s) and of course those Bravo Blogs that eat your comments w/o posting them. I still visit TWOP for the best snark.

*(Added April 30th, it has come to my attention that some of the rumors posted on this blog are definitely FALSE. Most rumors are clearly labeled as such, but in case I missed any, please keep that in mind)

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Season IV Episode 3, Sonja the SNOB?

Luann & Kelly go to a salon. Kelly is late. Luann says, "Do I have to stand on the corner like a hooker?"
They talk about finding another husband.
Luann tells Kelly that Kelly can't trust anyone.
"If they stab you in the back like Ramona, just don't let it happen to you again."-Luann
Luann invites Kelly to a mixer with European men.
Sonja & Alex are having a sit-down. Sonja has a giant fur hat on. Alex tells her to take it off but Sonja ignores it.
Sonja says that she wants to keep her coat on too because she's, "wearing yoga clothes"
Alex cannot stop staring at Sonja's big hat.
"It wasn't about any straight people."-Alex
"I'm not dealing with your husband again."-Sonja
In narration Sonja says something about Simon not being her girlfriend. She tells Alex that Alex can be her GF, but that Simon has to stay out of it. She says something to Alex about how she was worried the night that she threw Alex out of her house because she had invited people over who "could afford to buy art.", and how somehow she was terrified that Simon would show up, and ruin that?????????
Kelly and Cindy meet.
"I'm shaking", "I'm really really upset-I had to fire one of my nannies"-Cindy
"She's not nice."-Cindy
"I don't have the nerve to fire her, I had to ask my brother to do it."-Cindy
"How can she be friends with Ramona?"-Kelly in narration
Kelly tells Cindy that she has to text Ramona to RSVP-(she cannot go)
In narration, Cindy mocks Kelly writing the text-message. How slow she was etc.
"I am pigging-out, look at me"-Kelly
(She shovels guacamole in her mouth like its mashed-potatoes?)
"I give David Meister a lot of credit"-Sonja
Ramona is practicing her modeling. She's trying to squint so that she doesn't have big eyes.
Ramona talks about Kelly's text..
"I was really upset. I was hurt."-Ramona
Luann and Jacques are at a wine-tasting.
Jacques is not a match-maker.....its a trial-run."-Luann
"I highly suggest swallowing I do."-Luann
"Velcom to dee vine-testing....tonight we are going to take you on a tour "-Jacques
So this looks like a combination speed-dating and wine-tasting.
Luann has invited Kelly, Sonja, and Cindy to meet what she calls are "European men."
The Wine Connection.
"You come for de wine and hopefully you will stay for de connection."-Jacques
Sonja is doing a good job of flirting with the men.
Kelly comes-up with the idea to have her match act-out a scene with her because he is an actor.
Kelly and Cindy are walking and Kelly tells Cindy that she got a "drunk text" from Ramona.
"I'd prefer to stay on the big island of Manhattan"-Cindy
Its Alex's birthday and Simon has planned a party on Governor's Island.
Cindy complains that its cold & windy, and there's hardly anyone there.
" Everyone's smiling and saying "isn't this great?"-and it wasn't"-Cindy
"This has been the best birthday yet"-Alex

Ramona is walking in another fashion show.
Ramona tries not to have big eyes, but she looks weird anyhow and swings her hips strangely.

Cindy talks in narration about how insecure she is as a mom.
"I can never do this job without my nannies."-Cindy

(really really long commercial break here with the snippet about Cindy in the middle)
3/4ths of the hour...

Sonja and Luann are having cocktails and a private spa-day at Cindy's spa. Cindy says that she shut-down the spa for them.
Kelly arrives.
Cindy offers the women hair-removal.
"We're not talking about porn here."-Cindy
Sonja says that she's not completely bare.
Cindy says that she is.
Luann walked-out of the room and came back and said, "I'm completely bare now."
(she was walking a little funny).
Kelly said that she would do it since Luann did it.

Alex is being styled for a modeling-job. She narrates again how she has great genes.
She poses and says that she was "Thinking about ballet."
She says that she was "Moving like a ballet dancer would, except I never studied ballet."-Alex
She was inspired by Swan Lake-not the mean one.

"God forbid your marriage breaks up, you don't have to wait for those checks, you have your money in the bank."-Ramona 
( finally Ramona admits that women don't "need their own money"-if in a back-asswards way??? At least she admits now that women can leave abusive relationships and they may have to, "wait for a check.")
Ramona is being honored for being a business-woman. Celebrity Entrepreneur of The Year.
Alex shows-up in the hairstyle from the photo-shoot.
Think Bride of Frankenstein, only smooshed a little.
Cindy is annoyed that people are talking during the speech.
Scenes from next-week look like drama!