* This blog is dedicated to the bich (oh yes, I KNOW I spelled it wrong!), moderators at TWOP. Without Strenga et AL, I'd be happily posting-away along with the best of them. Unfortunately, TWOP is a little too heavy-handed, high-falootin' and downright unfriendly.
*(added 2011)-Amended to mean Strega's Real Housewives forum(s) and of course those Bravo Blogs that eat your comments w/o posting them. I still visit TWOP for the best snark.

*(Added April 30th, it has come to my attention that some of the rumors posted on this blog are definitely FALSE. Most rumors are clearly labeled as such, but in case I missed any, please keep that in mind)

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Part 1: Why I heart Jill Zarin and h8 IHJZ

(*This is a long story. So long, that I had to break it into pieces. The beginning of this post is copied and pasted from what I originally began. "Part 1" was originally titled, "Who is The Real Housewives Hate-Blogger and who is behind it?". The story got complicated so I saved Part 1 in "draft", and published Part 2, 3, and 4. "Who is Behind it?", has been hinted-at. But I can only guess because I really don't know. Because this is so long, anything that I have left-out will have to be included in Part 5, or "The End" of this series. I've added information to "Part 1", and it is finished. Some of the information is repeated, or expanded-on in the other parts of this series, so I apologize in-advance for being redundant and repeating portions here.) Here is the current view from my Blogger editor. You can see how this series evolved:
Yes I am confused!
Episode 12, Season 4 of The Real Housewives of New York began a sub-plot that had some bloggers, and blog-readers feeling like they had entered a time-warped, reality television, Twilight Zone.
I'm referring to the moment when Bobby Zarin pulled Simon Van-Kempen aside, to confront him about fraternizing with a "Hate-blogger".
A "hate-blogger", who specifically proclaims her never-ending devotion to the hating of one Jill Zarin.
The Real Housewives of New York, have been pulling about 2 million, three-hundred thousand, viewers each week this season.Lynn Hudson claims to have many more unique visitors to her,"I Hate Jill Zarin" blog than that which I find peculiar. But there are many other strange and contradictory things about
"IHJZ" besides that. The latest being that the "I Hate Jill  Zarin" blog, has now become part of the story-line for this season's Real Housewives of New York.
I don't usually blog criticism about other bloggers here, but now that Lynn, or the blogger known as Lynn Hudson, aka, LynnNChicago101, has become a part of the show, that's different.
Another thing that I don't usually do, is download and save entire pages of blogs because I have a funny feeling that they will be deleted. I only did that ONE TIME with "I Hate Jill Zarin", and I didn't have any evidence that Lynn had been deleting portions of her blogs up to that point, but I did it "just in case". Some-time later, Lynn posted an item, about-you guessed it, deleting that very page that I had downloaded for safe-keeping.
More about that later.
Google-Reader is a way of following blogs that have RSS-feeds available. As people on StoopidHousewives.com <-----link, and other interested, helpful people have explained to me, items that are posted to blogs that have RSS-feeds, are not deleted, even when the blog author goes-back and changes things.
It has been pointed-out to me that the RSS-feed for IHJZ, has been very revealing when it comes to contradictions on that blog. Entire blog-pages and comments that were deleted, for example, are still available for people with reader-subscriptions.

Why would someone be concerned about contradictions on the IHJZ blog? Well, maybe because according to Lynn, and QuincyIl,  her co-blogger, the only rule there is;   
"...to be kind to others. Everybody doesn’t have to agree, but you can dispute and argue opinions without attacking each other.  That’s what we do here..." (-most recently posted by QuincyIl, but repeated often)
 Unfortunately, after spending any amount of time on the blog, visitors become aware of the many unsaid and unwritten rules. Not only that, Lynn and her cohort claim to not ban or block comment posters unless they are violating the "no attacking" rule and specifically name TWOP, and Bravo-blogs as examples of offenders who do.
Please do not imply that I am advising people not to read or visit IHJZ. If I am warning anybody about anything, besides questioning the true origin/owners of IHJZ, I am only issuing a warning to use caution about posting comments there. The blog itself is extensive and detailed and much of the content is original to
IHJZ by Lynn and QuincyIl, and much of the copy-cat content is properly credited. (although it will be considered an "attack" if you happen to point-out copied material, such-as photographs, and ideas/information that have been used without proper credits or permissions or criticize any opinions, or point-out any mistakes made by Lynn... ).
If you can't get enough of The Housewives--the blog is worth a visit if only for it's massive content.
After I was "attacked" myself, (in a bloggy-way, not physically of course) and thrown-off the blog in a very rude manner by Lynn and her self-proclaimed troll~hunters, (who ironically turned-out to be masters in the art of trolldom;)), I discovered that IHJZ didn't have anything else than many other Real Housewives blogs have, but they did have The Van-Kempens!
Namely, Simon who has had his comments posted there.
Which brings us to the mystery, Is Simon behind IHJZ? Apparently, that is what Bravo, would like us to think that Bobby and Jill Zarin think.
The double-whammy  mind-freak of the entire thing is the time-line and now vs. then, versus, real-time, versus real-life, versus reality television. The "Sweet Sixteen"-party episode, where Bobbby Zarin has a moment with Simon about collaborating with a "hate-blogger"-was taped months ago. It would seem to be correct that Simon made his IHJZ blog-comment-posting appearance months ago as well. Lynn has also frequently featured a meet-up that she had with the Van Kempens in her home town of Chicago, on her blog, but that was while last season's episodes were airing. It would appear that Alex and Simon have been friendly with IHJZ, since almost the very beginning of the blog-which was sometime early Spring last year, (2010). IHJZ began on TerryAlley's site and moved-to HubPages when episodes for season III of Real Housewives of New York  were being aired.
(*end of unpublished version 1, Part 1 of this series)
(*Here is where I tried to wrap-up Part 1 of this series again. It probably should be divided into another separate post but I really want to finish the whole hot mess.)
I have a confession to make. I ♥ Jill Zarin. There are a lot of reasons to love Jill. She's a red-head. She's attractive, but not in-a sex-object way. She likes a good deal. She's funny. She's egotistical but doesn't take herself too seriously. She knows how to get things done. She likes to help other people. She has a nice family...when it comes-to The Real Housewives, I'd consider Jill Zarin one of the more admirable ones of the bunch. If Andy Cohen asked the question, "If you had to choose which Housewife would you would hope that your children grew-up to be like?"- I'd probably pick Jill.
I've kept that little secret to myself since last-season, (Season 3), when The Real Housewives of New York were confronting her about what a terrible bitch she is and she owned it all, and apologized, and then she said something like, "What do you want me to do-jump out the window?"
(I kept my for Jill Zarin a secret because I didn't want to get in trouble with IHJZ. The peer-pressure there is the "group-think" mentioned below and elsewhere.)
At that point as far as I was concerned, Jill was forgiven. (although I do have a problem with the girdle-thing. nobody should bring-back girdles.They need to become extinct.)
Actually, I forgave Jill as-soon as she found-out that Betheny was expecting a baby, and when she said that she didn't know that Betheny was pregnant during some-of the big argument/war that they were having. Because Jill did exactly the right thing then. She backed-off of Bethenny.
Last season of The Real Housewives of New York was hard for viewers to watch. We saw Bethenny live through the death of her father while she was expecting her first baby.
What we didn't want to see, (what we did see), was any unnecessary drama, or stress, for Bethenny while she was in such a delicate and stressful situation. But we did see it and its name was Jill.
It was never a fair fight because the pregnant-lady wins by default. So Jill was the bad-guy. Never-mind that Jill was hurt too, that she lost a friend. Never-mind that Bethenny and Jill both have a right to their careers, yet Jill had-to make concessions to her own career to protect Betheny's health because Betheny wasn't going-to give-up her career either. Betheny had the pregnant-card, and she played it well.
We saw Bethenny cry and break-down from the stress. That was hard to watch. Everybody hates to see a pregnant-mother suffer don't they?
But we saw it, and because Bethenny was exempt from even her own decision to participate in The Real Housewives, we looked-for the villain. Viewers were emotionally affected by seeing the drama play-out.
We hated what we were seeing, and because Jill was doing what The Real Housewives do, we hated-on Jill.
Some people even went so far as to enter "I Hate Jill Zarin" into their search-bar. Some other people, (Lynn Hudson), even went so far as to create an entire blog devoted to the hating of Jill Zarin.

Bravo's Real Housewives put themselves, (and consequently, their families), into the public-eye for their own reasons. Financial opportunity, fame, exhibitionism,... Fame-whoredom. And we the viewers eat-it up. The device of reality begs-for our attention in a way that fictional drama does not. Reality changes the question from "What-if that happened?", to "It happened-what do you think?". "Reality" asks us to judge.
Reality-television goes beyond entertainment because it is real. Its interactive, just like the www. And because they put themselves out-there for it, we can judge The Housewives. One-shoulder dresses?-hate them. Hair-extensions? Fake-eyelashes? Red-velvet cake? Blond or brunette? Home-maker or Career gal? Little dogs? Exotic cats? Plastic-surgery? Team Nene or Team Kim? Margarita or white wine? Just like Andy Cohen takes polls on Watch What Happens Live, Reality-television and The Real Housewives, ask us to choose. Love it or leave it is not an option because this is "real-life".
Albert Manzo from the Jersey Housewives held a position on a major water authority in North Jersey. Many of The Housewives are the worst examples of the current real estate foreclosure crisis that affect every single person in the USA and some that aren't even born yet. We drive on the same roads that they do, even-though some of them shouldn't be driving. What they wear, and those fashion-shows they attend, is what we will find in the stores when we shop. Because it is real, it affects all of us and we must judge them. Sometimes we hate.
If you follow The Housewives on Bravo-there must be something you like about them.  We "love to hate" The Housewives, mainly because they can not hate us back. If my Sister-in-law wears a one-shoulder-dress, I might not tell her my real opinion. But if Luann or Caroline Manzo wear one, I might even consider it a community-service to get online and tell the inter-webs what I really think. If my opinion is shared with enough people, together we may even influence the fashion industry.
Jill Zarin found herself on the wrong side of tormenting a pregnant woman. That's something that everybody can agree-on. Hating Jill Zarin, or hating what we were watching happen to Bethenny, was a no-brainer.
And that is where I Hate Jill Zarin, the blog came-in.
When I Hate Jill Zarin began, the sentiment was valid. The blog became a magnet for Housewives viewers. I found the blog when I was just starting my-own Real Housewives blogs. I was searching for unique details and information about The Housewives, and not just a recap, or rehash of what everybody else had.
I started my own Housewives blogs because I had a few things to say about The Housewives, and I was not satisfied with what Bravo had made available. The Bravo-blogs leave room for comments, but they were completely moderated and most-of-the-time messages would not even be posted there. TWOP is a lot more entertaining, but the moderators there had a bad habit-of shutting the board down just when things got interesting.
I was drawn to I Hate Jill Zarin, incidentally, not by what Lynn had blogged, but by information that was contributed by had been swiped from @BravoMaxine that was re-posted on Lynn's blog.
@BravoMaxine (live link to Maxine's Twitter) had a different name at that time. Maxine is the reason why I have a *rumor disclaimer at the top of this website.
Maxine likes to remind people that she was the first, the original, and that all-others are "imitators" and "copy-cats". In some ways that is correct, because there still isn't anyone who does what Maxine does. But Maxine doesn't have a blog. Maxine has been independently chroniciling  Bravo's Real Housewives (mostly on Twitter), since 2008. But there are other independent bloggers like Absurd2Sublime.com, who can also claim that they were there first.
In the Hub-Page version-of I Hate Jill Zarin, (circa 2010 which is no-longer available online), Lynn Hudson had quite a bit of  re-posted information that came-from Maxine. If you haven't followed Maxine on Twitter, or on her Facebook page,( currently suspended. Absurd2Sublime explains here) I suggest that you do because I can barely begin to explain what it is that Maxine does that is so different from everyone else. Usually a quick-peak at what Maxine is up to will have a Housewives fan in Housewife Heaven. "Inside-info." and juicy gossip-that you really won't see anywhere else. Unfortunately, (especially for Lynn-but I'm getting to that), a lot of it just is not true.
Maxine has explained in the past that because she has so many sources sending here information, that sometimes she gets it wrong. Wherever she gets her dish-I love it! The more outlandish the better but readers have been warned.
Before everyone had learned that Maxine's info. was raw and wasn't verified, Lynn was using it on her I Hate Jill Zarin Hub-Page blog as factual and credible. At some point, Lynn caught-on or was called-out and she apologized to her readers. Since-then Maxine has-been an unmentionable on IHJZ. (except-for the incident where Jill Zarin accidentally announced that Bethenny had given-birth to a boy because Jill and Maxine both posted the incorrect information.).
Anyways, (thanks again Lynn for correcting me on that one. (anyhow/anyways), even-though you were vicious, I do appreciate it), that's how I landed at IHJZ in the first place. -Not by entering "I hate Jill..." into Google© like many have commented to IHJZ. And it was the open-comments that kept me there. (ha ha-and eventually pushed me away).
I love comments. Some people will tell you that hit-and-run, anonymous comments can't be trusted, (they can't but I can think for myself thank-you). I've been criticized before for not leaving my comments open. I have a reason for not opening comments here. I was a board-moderator on a political message board for ten years. I'm retired from moderating comments. (I still reserve the right to open comments on any or all items, but I'd rather heard cats!).
So when Lynn left comments turned "on", on IHJZ, I was particularly interested in how that would work-out. Maintaining a comment-section is also a great way to drive visitors to a website and rack-up web-traffic stats. One offended reader of IHJZ paid Lynn the ultimate insult by announcing that the only reason they bothered to visit IHJZ was to browse the comments. It is true that without comments, IHJZ is just another Real Housewives blog.
It appeared to work beautifully. (yes "appeared" is a hint).
Housewives, and peace and Kumbaya. And Kumbaya we did.
After awhile it became necessary for Lynn to make some rules about the comments. (it always becomes necessary to make some rules. Just ask Strega and TWOP).
Except for the "H"-word in the title, the rules that Lynn posted were a continuation of the perception of the Esprit de corps  in comments area. "Be kind rewind", I mean "Be kind to each other". Lynn and and QuincyIL continue to regurgitate and repeat this rule to this day. They have promoted the blog with this sentiment. They repeatedly invite would-be commenters to join the discussion, posting assurances that no one will be blocked, or banned, or deleted. There are "no rules", other-than the "play nice amongst each-other" rule.(quote above)
When you have a stated policy people have a choice to either accept it, or not. Comment-posting policies are serious business. In my opinion, it is better to not post a policy, unless you intend-on enforcing it.
It is especially better to not promote one policy when you really have a different agenda, and when you do exactly what you claim that you don't do.-(in other words, they brag about not-doing actions that they do whenever they want).
They assure people that everyone's opinion is welcome-That no subject is off-limits, that you won't be banned or blocked unless you break the only stated "rule".
Well it isn't true and I'm not telling anyone not to post comments there, but I am telling them that if you've seen people warning about "group-think", and "herd-mentality", when referring to the comment-area "rules" on IHJZ, -that is more like the unwritten and heavily monitored and enforced "rules" there on IHJZ.
I would say that the number 1 unwritten rule, is to never alert IHJZ to any errors or outright accusations/questions about any uncredited content-theft that Lynn Hudson has posted.
And although IHJZ claims that they welcome links to other blogs and websites, she really doesn't like it.
This was made most painfully clear, not when she accused me of trying to steal her visitors (because we both knew that I wasn't getting any traffic from IHJZ), or when she jumped into www.stooopidhousewives.com's (link) celebration of one million visitors to Stooopidhousewives's blog with the same claims, but when she did it to one of her own inner-circle.
Sometime this Spring, (2011), the commenter who goes-by the name Boston02127 innocently opened a live chat-room on a site that wasn't IHJZ and promoted it and posted links to it there. I guess the chat became popular, and Lynn decided that the chat was causing a drain on visitors to IHJZ. I was lurking in the comments, and watched it play-out (I'm always lurking if I visit there ha ha because the last time that I checked I was blocked, but I wouldn't post there anyhow. Or is that anyways? ).
Anywhoo. Boston02127 was publicly admonished and called-out on IHJZ, to please STOP with her chat because it could "hurt" IHJZ by stealing visitors. Lynn Hudson is terribly concerned with the IHJZ visitor-count.
But Boston02127 was allowed to stay. And the "chat" was redirected to the comment section of IHJZ. I hope that Boston02127 has her own reasons for putting-up with that kind-of treatment. She's been used by Lynn so much, that I really hope she's getting something for herself out of it.
It is true that "hating " Jill Zarin is not required for commenters to IHJZ, but there is another unwritten rule that no smack-talk of Lynn's favorite Housewives is allowed.
That would be Betheny, Alex and Simon, and curiously, Cat O'Maney from the defunct Housewives of DC.
And if you have a problem with the title of the board, or the hating of Jill Zarin in general-I would suggest that you keep it to yourself.
I personally supported the IHJZ banning of a commenter who goes by the name of Gwen Bridges because Gwen laced her comments with terroristic extortion and blackmail.
After Gwen was blocked, she continued her attack. You can still see remnants of that mess in Google-searches for "I Hate Lynn Hudson", or Gwen Bridges, or even "I hate Alex McCord" but that blog is long-gone. (there are some virus sites that look-like they have it, but they don't)
Those blogs were payback to Lynn from being blocked  from IHJZ and carrying-through with what Gwen had threatened. Gwen made the demand that Lynn drop the word "hate" from IHJZ. She warned that if Lynn didn't, that she would post vile, slanderous, nasty, information about Alex McCord because Gwen knew that Alex was one-of Lynn's favorite Housewives.
Gwen's "hate" blogs looked-like they had comments too. But those comments were all fake as far as I could tell. They all supported Gwen and if you sent Gwen a comment disagreeing it never saw the light of day.
Of course I can understand Gwen's frustration from being muted from IHJZ, and sadly some real garbage about Alex was posted online just because Alex and Simon had apparently befriended Lynn and the IHJZ blog.
Would Gwen have gone that far to try to hurt Alex and Simon if she wasn't frustrated with the inconsistencies and flat-out fake niceness that Lynn presented on IHJZ?
I don't know, but by the time that I was being thrown-off IHJZ, there were more "Gwens"-out there. People were being blocked from posting comments there left and right. Yet the status-quo was all that most people saw. People were being accused-of being "trouble-makers", and being blocked, and being talked-about. (but they could not respond because they were blocked, yet "WE DON'T BLOCK ANYONE" was the ongoing motto).And this is just what was posted visibly for anyone to see online. Because aside-from IHJZ, there is plenty-of hate to spread-around. In e-mails, on Twitter, other blogs...At that time, I supported IHJZ, even-if I didn't actually *hate* Jill Zarin, because I supported the "love-to-hate"-hating of The Real Housewives in general. I honestly thought that was the point of IHJZ. Eventually I learned otherwise. 
If anything negative was posted elsewhere online about Lynn, it was explained-away as being from a "paid Jill Zarin" supporter, a jealous blogger, or someone who had gone too far like Gwen.
Some bloggers who had previously been favored, were mocked and discounted because they posted opinions that Lynn didn't like. One in particular is Illana Angel, (link to her blog on left-hand side of this page). Ilana doesn't seem to approve-of Saint Bethenny very much. If people posted links to bloggers that Lynn didn't like, the thought-police would post a warning."Lynn has warned us about that before...", or some-such nonsense.

I decided to ignore IHJZ, and quit reading the blog, mostly, since there are so many other blogs that allow comments, to choose-from. I also wanted to make sure that I wouldn't copy, (with credits of course), anything else from her blog, unless she was the only source that had that particular information. I noticed that IHJZ really didn't have much that was unique to the site aside from Lynn and QuincyIl's recaps, so I wasn't missing anything. I love recaps, but I like to sample a lot of different ones, and I was relieved to read my favorite recaps without so much Jill-hating.
The Hating-on Jill had become stale to me, but it was the meat and bones of IHJZ. I was bored-with the list of Jill Zarin's "sins", which are a proud liturgy on IHJZ.At times, the hate behind-the-scenes, involved-with IHJZ and some-of the blog's inner-circle became waay more interesting than anything on the blog. I decided not to blog-about the hate and try to focus more on The Housewives. Because the hate was real and it was ugly.
The "hate" went-on elsewhere: online, on Twitter, real-life, email- Lynn Hudson is/was always pretty careful to maintain her image, but her friends did her dirty-work. Certain online personalities were not getting marching-orders from Lynn, but while they were busy invading other Real Housewives's bloggers real lives, Lynn continued to praise and support them publicly.
A very talented writer and Reality television blogger found herself in the cross-hairs of the IHJZ followers.
At first-it was funny. Then it got real. I'm not mentioning the blogger's name right now because she has recently been sentenced to four-years in a maximum-security women's prison, and she cannot have contact with the outside world for another two-weeks. I want to get this writer's permission before posting any identifying information here.
The stalking of that blogger carried-over to "elsewhere", and yes the girl had financial problems, and upcoming court cases. Intensity38, and other of Lynn's "favorites", proclaimed judgement on the blogger and openly stated that they wished she would be sentenced to hard-time, (and worse!). Comments on another blog devoted to exposing this other blogger's real-life, (name with-held to protect the innocent), stated that judges, court officials, and people involved in the blogger's real-life legal problems, were being contacted and influenced.
Four years. -We can say that the blogger did it to herself, but I cannot help wondering what if-any effect the "haters" had on what appears to be an overly harsh sentence.
I myself was warned that the haters/trolls/friends-of IHJZ could do to me what had been done to this blogger, and worse.

Currently, I like to comment back-and-forth with other people on Stooopidhousewives.com mostly, because SHW posts more quality Real Housewives content than I would be able to find on my own, (original content and best-of-the-rest).  Comments are allowed and lively and you never know who will pop-in. Does SHW do everything that I just posted that Lynn does? SHW moderates the comments. SHW deletes, and blocks, but SHW makes no excuses or claims to the contrary. My comments are safe there because I'm getting exactly what SHW promises. Here is SHW'S comment policy which was posted after someone tried to disrupt SHW's site by posting offensive comments.
*Copied and edited for clarity and space
What you see is what you get. No phony platitudes. No false promises...just the facts. SHW-(or SH), also reminds readers that foul-language and personal-attacks towards others/ or their opinions are not-allowed.
I bring-up StooopidHousewife as a good example here because there are many ways to moderate comments if you choose to have them. What IHJZ does is try to lure visitors to her site by allowing the freedom to comment, but she alienates people when they learn the truth. Stooopid also gains visits by having comments, but SHW is not so desperately looking-for page-loads that they trick people under false-pretenses.
Well I see that this post is quite lengthy and I still haven't delivered everything that I promised. I still have some things to say about the Hate-Blogger that is Lynn Hudson and I Hate Jill Zarin. I think that I covered a lot with this post, and explained some of the "hate" that is I Hate Jill Zarin. So I think that I will post this as Part I. Unfortunately, there is more to this story. A story that would not be on this blog at all, except for the fact that I Hate Jill Zarin became part of The Real Housewives Of New York.
So I'm going to call this entry Part 1 and let it go. I'd really like to wrap-up this series altogether, but there are a few more things that I may as well blab. Thank-you to everyone who took the time to read all of this! Part 2, 3, and 4, have already been posted so with this, (Part 1), the series is almost finished.
Whatever I've left-out here and in the other posts will have to be another blog. There is a little more to this topic, but I'll save it for another post and since the series is finished it will be Part 5,The End, Footnotes, Scraps, and Credits.