* This blog is dedicated to the bich (oh yes, I KNOW I spelled it wrong!), moderators at TWOP. Without Strenga et AL, I'd be happily posting-away along with the best of them. Unfortunately, TWOP is a little too heavy-handed, high-falootin' and downright unfriendly.
*(added 2011)-Amended to mean Strega's Real Housewives forum(s) and of course those Bravo Blogs that eat your comments w/o posting them. I still visit TWOP for the best snark.

*(Added April 30th, it has come to my attention that some of the rumors posted on this blog are definitely FALSE. Most rumors are clearly labeled as such, but in case I missed any, please keep that in mind)

Monday, June 3, 2013

Princesses of Long Island Are Bad For The Jews! (and humanity as well)

The only blog that I've read today about last night's premiere of Princesses of Long Island, was Ilana Angel's (link here) Keeping It Real, in The Jewish Journal. I don't think that she liked it either. She mentioned several times how embarrassing these people were to her personally as a Jewish person.

I'm not a Jew, but I am a woman, and a human-being, and thanks to Bravo, they made us ALL look bad.
Last night on Watch What Happens Live, Andy Cohen didn't have much to say at all about the "princesses", (lower-cases "p" intended!)-but he did manage to squeeze-out a grimace when he mentioned that the program had aired.

As I was thinking of a title for this post, I thought about what Ilana had said in her blog, and Andy's trademark© game, "Good for the Jews, or Bad for the Jews?", came to mind. (Hmmm--did Andy get some crap for that game? I haven't seen that gimmick in a very long time.)

Maybe Andy's telling but silent facial gesture was his way of biting his tongue, because if there were ever perfect candidates to win the "Bad for the Jews"-game, it would be the Princesses of Long Island.
Why? Because. Like Ilana Angel, who hails from the West somewhere near Hollywood-land or LA, I live in an area of the country-(East Coast), that counts Jewish people as part of the population of people that I come in contact with every day. It was a culture shock for me when I learned that the rest of the US is not as fortunate as I am when it comes to diversity. (Uh-oh, now I'm starting to sound like what irritated me most about these self-titled royalty!-Bragging about my blessings.).
And maybe that is what rubbed me the wrong way about this show? No, it wasn't exactly the braggadocio. It was that combined with the attitude that their good fortune somehow made them better than everyone else.
But Ilana is right to wonder if last night's freak-show could be what someone in the majority of the country thinks are stereotypical Jewish families, because most people don't have a "real life" example. And since I live in New Jersey, I know how that feels when it comes to Reality television examples lol.

Ashlee White,(her Twitter-I think?) who in my opinion doesn't deserve the bandwidth that it takes to type her name, was quick on the Twit to issue an "apology" for her disastrous introduction. It's clear that she has "issues", and in scenes of episodes to come, (oh please God let Bravo kill this series early so I don't have to accidentally watch more episodes and actually like her), we see that she is an actual hot mess. Her female "Napoleon Syndrome" is apparent, but there are revelations of emotional problems promised along-with the physical ailments alluded-to on her Twitter timeline.  Her timeline was shady too, with an apology for being "hacked"-(I didn't see the "hacked" Tweets darn it and they've been deleted), a reference to her surviving two strokes and a diagnoses of Lupus, and the general impression that being on TV was her main ambition in life. If she weren't so petite, I think she would have thanked "all the little people"-but her own shortcomings, (I could not resist I'm sorry), and the personal challenges that accompany her stature, probably stopped her short there. (OK-no more of that I promise).

Here's what I'm sure was a pre-planned apology for how she came-across:
copied from Twitter

The "Freeport" scene was where she had what looked like a panic-attack where she unloaded a diaper-full of verbal diarrhea to her Daddy via cell-phone, (yes-she was driving.)-while going to visit her '"less fortunate""-(the double quotation marks are for sarcasm!)--friend in the ""Ghetto"" of Freeport.
A pretty face explaining-away her ugly behavior. And it's too bad about her dad too, because although he was lovable at first, his own faux-puax of encouraging his daughter's insanely incorrect, (and obviously politically incorrect), BS, disgusted me.

So by this time the viewers have had it hammered into our brains that the area of Long Island that the "princesses" reside in is what the rest of us wretched huddled ghetto-dwelling, metal-fence with that HORRIBLE "green-plastic-stuff" masses call "where the rich people live". And where Reality Television, Bravo-watchers especially call, "where are the bankruptcy files posted?"-area.

Yes there are promises of schadenfreude, (and yes I still have to look that one up), but this particular section of Long Island does not appear to be the transient Real Housewives of New Jersey McMansion, ready to float-away with the next hurricane, or financial fraud committed to keeping an expensive-looking roof over one's head. Although condescension and superiority towards other people is usually a mistake of the classless nouveau riche, this train-wreck waiting to happen, looks more like exactly what Bravo promised us it was. Just a bunch of over-grown, unmarried single woman. With a little of what one Twitterer called "the Jets vs. the Sharks"-Long Island style.

Comcast made the first episode of this available On Demand before it premiered and I happened to catch someone watching it just as I was alerting them to the time of the premiere. I told them that I could not watch it with them at that time because I intended to watch it when it aired. This pre-viewer said that they were already half-way through watching it, and that I had to see this one girl's fiance' because there had been an astonishing GAYDAR all-points-spoiler being issued.

When someone tells me that their GAYDAR has been activated, I pay attention, if only to see if mine is calibrated accurately. "Hmmm. If you say so." I said. Yeah, he seemed a little "swishy", but what do I know?
By the time that the show was airing, I was already hot & heavy on my Twitter timeline and I had to issue my own re-TWaction (here's my Twitter) of sorts. For a minute there I thought that I had outed this guy on Twitter, so I followed-up with an, "I'm just repeating what someone else said"-Tweet to try and cover my butt there.

I really did feel bad about that for a second, and I probably will never do that again. When I hit send with my borrowed observation,
 " Amanda your boyfriend is gay. That's fine but you know that right?"
--I was convinced of it myself for some reason, and it was right after my beloved Atlantic City was also "royally" insulted during this show. I actually have the worst GAYDAR and I never guess about someone's sexual persuasion. Unless someone is officially OOTC, (out of the closet), I just never go there, but this guy, and this show, were kind of asking for it in my opinion. After I issued my next post where I took back what I said, I noticed that so many other Tweeters were also "outing"-Jeff Hoffman that his girlfriend, princess Amanda had a Tweet of her own which said something like,
   "Dude-stop telling me that my fiance is gay!!! He's not!"
-Jeff Hoffman-
OK. I also gleaned from Amanda's timeline that her not-gay fiance is the dead-ringer look-alike brother of that weaselly actor from Suits and other productions Rick Hoffman.  

Amanda already has her own Facebook Fan-Page set-up. What is there to like? No one even knows who she is. She's only been "on display" for one episode!

After the experience that was viewing this crap-fest, which came directly after watching the season premiere of The Real Housewives of New Jersey, and having fun watching the fur-fly on Twitter, where I had proclaimed that I would strictly be Hate-watching Season 5 of RHONJ, I just didn't know how much hate I could digest for the next umpteen Sunday nights. I could be wrong, but I think that these two shows are scheduled back-to-back for the entire season(s). It might be too much. The Real Housewives of New Jersey is pretty detestable, but Princesses of Long Island is completely unworthy of my spite at this point.

Sure they made an attempt at a plot, but unless the entire thing is a joke, (something I wonder more and more about Bravo's offerings), I don't need to get more infuriated than I've already committed myself for.
They ended episode one with a battle royal fight cliff-hanger of course. Ilana noticed something that I didn't see in the scene. One of the main characters in the fight appeared without nail polish, yet when seen from another angle, her nails were polished. Who stops in the middle of a big dramatic scene, (literally haha)-to polish there nails, and wait for them to dry? Only someone waiting for the crew to come back for lunch so that they can finish acting in a scene.

Like Real Old Housewife, (who I missed on Twitter last night) has said, why should I invest myself in believing that there is anything worth commenting on if Bravo doesn't have enough respect for the viewers to come clean about how scripted their shows are? Taking the scripts from West Side Story, and Fiddler on The Roof, throwing them in a blender and assembling the cast and crew on Long Island is an interesting idea. For drama. Pretending that it's reality is something sinister.

I'm pretty sure that I will not be watching any more episodes of Princesses..., unless Bravo officially let's us all in on the joke that it is. And soon. I may give them one more chance to blow my already hate-filled mind, but that's it. (Unless it gets really good somehow ;)).